Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't deserve a penis
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
