3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
