do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
