why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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