I hate your face
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
