Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
