so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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