dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
