If you die in college, do you die in real life?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
