hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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