i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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