she looked like the bat from fern gully.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
