so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just had sex on a roof
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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