You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
