The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
