She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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