I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
