you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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