I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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