when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
