the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
