your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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