My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
