some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
