Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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