I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
