every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
