If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
