What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize