Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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