McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
