so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Randomize
