i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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