i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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