I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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