There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
