That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This is my gift to your gina
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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