I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
