who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
