i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It all started with a game of naked twister.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
