No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
