Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
