I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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