Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
