the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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