"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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