thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
