my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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