bring money and cleavage
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
