considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm bleeding and have questions
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
