im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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