I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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