i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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