Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
