After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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