K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
