why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
