I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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